Cancer is a Family Affair

 

Sign up.....and I did 

We weathered the storm..

Greeted by our friend and very in charge Jenni

and then

by my side, Tanner, the best technician ever 

No more than a little prick 
Hardly needed a Band-Aid 

Three generations of love

The young looking grandma is my cousins daughter 

♥   My Cousins   ♥

And this little angel is Charlie
She loves pink 
so seemed right for her to keep my pink umbrella

Memo: we have the same blood type !

 only 7 % with O negative   ♥

I live an exciting life 

.

Making a difference

 

The lad in this true story is Chase.  I have not met him, ( I know his grandparents ) but after reading this "Powerful" story I can say I  would love to be part of his circle of friends. 

A closer look... we hear the word, and who has not been touched by cancer, maybe a relative or dear friend.   

Our family has been touched too, but at the far right of the scale. Hubby had his 44 treatments of radiation with no side effects. None. We did meet others, every day in that waiting room who did have side effects.. those are stories I shared in 2018.  And I have several cousins who have faced hard times, very hard, during their treatments.   And it factors into the impact that this book has made in my heart and life.

I had read the first line of posts that updated readers, but it was not until I saw the post where Chase, turning 13, was asking for the same number/amount, as a donation to the doctors and staff of his "caregivers". Not for himself, or even his family, but for the people who had participated in saving his life. 
( Mama Ellie  has 14K followers on Facebook, she is an amazing writer )  

So, I ordered the book.  This story is the far left of any I know. I am sure there are others, but not that I have come to know.   Not just a cancer that was treated and back home and all good.  No, this was far more, and is on going.  

My mind goes to the Ukrainian war,  hear or read the headlines, but until you let yourself look at the pictures, hear about the horror on a day to day basis, it is hard to wrap your mind and heart around their situation. Maia has a daily update and it makes it more real and often very shocking
( Maia has 39K followers on Facebook, she is an amazing writer )

No, we cannot grieve for every persons hard circumstances, but, we can tune in to the needs/cares of those we are aware of and even someone right next door,  and we can  take the time to bow our head and pray for healing and comfort and also with thankfulness  for the blessings that most of us live with every day.

There is much more that I could share, but Ellie does a great job of showing the family, church, doctors and staff,  all who became a part of Chase's life, his story.  

So read the book.. 

And as Chase repeated and repeated  Joshua 1:9  Be strong and of courage,  do not be afraid, for the Lord is with you wherever you go

And He is.  

I live an exciting life 

.

Hard. Serious. Real

When he came to the door , my sister had no idea what was up...

Here is what happened.

Jody   had been suffering from cancer for a long time.  He was suffering from the habit of chewing tobacco. Harsh consequences. A lump on his neck bigger than a softball.  Surgeries, pain medication, strong pain medication, and now it was beyond healing.
Jody was in a loud and angry mood.  He was planning to end his life. He carried a bag with just what he needed.  My sister asked him "Jody, do you know if you're going to heaven?"  And he said  " Oh yeah, I know all about that.  My mom took me to the Baptist church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night. So  I asked Jesus into my heart lots of times.. that hasn't worked for me. Look, at my life.  Living with my girlfriend for 15 years, living in sin".

At some point B-I-L  said  " Jody, please don't do it on June 1. That is our anniversary and all our families are going to be here"
 ( that is really what happened so I have to include it )

Jody responded " I got too many other things I have to take care of. I got to connect with my attorney and".. saying all the different things he had to take care of , Jenny and however long it takes her to go through mourning or whatever that is you go through.   He was not very kind talking about any of it.
  He rambled on and on and finally just before he was going to leave my sister said
"Jody as time goes on if you decide that you want to hear more about heaven you come over here and talk to me  OK?


It was three weeks later.   The phone call came,  It was Jenny " can we come over?"
The couple sat in the living room and most of the time Jody was quiet.  He could barely talk. He and his now wife, Jenny had gotten married. 
Jenny was crying most of the time, but she was able to translate  what Jody was trying to say.

He was ready for Barb to tell him what she wanted to share with him.

The basic plan of salvation.  He nodded his head.   He made eye contact.  As long as  they sat in the living room, Barb kept sharing.


At one point B-I-L said  " our grand daughter is coming over to spend the night.  She is coming for a sleep over. "
  (  that really happened,  kind of "unexpected"   but it gave my sister a few minutes to pray and think about other things to share.)

She recognized that he was feeling guilty and needed to understand God's forgiveness.  She mentioned that he had been angry when he came over before and he shook his head  ( very difficult, painful, for him )   The few words he spoke Jenny understood... but then he said "Crap" and everyone could understand that.

Barb said..
"Almost the entire visit he was just staring deeply at me, intently just listening, really deeply which was very encouraging.  I mean here I have this audience, he couldn't even answer me or talk back to me, or say OK I've heard enough or anything because he couldn't talk . Kind of trapped." 

Then she  said:  " I could tell he was really responding so I felt really like the Lord calls out to help and just as he wasn't angry and he was listening and he was getting the one point. I was talking about dying. And he didn't need to fear dying because he would close his eyes here and open up his eyes in heaven and I gave the story I heard years ago from Chuck Swindoll that your hand is in the glove and  when the glove comes off, and your hand goes up to heaven    God just happens in just a blink of an eye and so he didn't have to fear death.  It was you being with Jesus forever."
Then she looked at Jenny and said " Jenny this is something else, a bonus that when you believe that Jesus dies on the cross, he died for you."  She explained the simple plan of salvation.
She was listening, but did not respond, so I am not sure about her
but
"I feel maybe it was a gift the Lord gave to me. I did feel like if I had to vote one way or another, I would say Jody accepted Jesus and he probably already had years ago, but he was just feeling so guilty and unforgiven and he just needed to be reminded. I'm so blessed the Lord gave me the words.

When they left both of them gave us a big hug.


And Saturday morning was his final day on earth.





Thankful that the Lord used my sister
Proud of my sister's confidence and boldness  in sharing "Jesus"

Marking the final days

When Cancer strikes it becomes a family affair.

The final walk 

This entire department is serene
Very welcoming
And the staff are very encouraging and caring.
We have never seen anything like it  

But first, a little thought processing has been going on....




You might not like it...or admit it...or deal with it...but it is the truth, Cancer is a family affair. 

Most of us know that if your Mother or Grandmother have breast cancer, then all you girls need to get mammograms early and keep checking.

But did you know that if your Dad has prostate cancer, then you girls should also get started early with mammograms? 

I didn't know that.  I have three daughters.  So, early is now.

There are other things I have learned during these 44 days of treatment.  I have been along with my hubby for 42 of those days.   Some things were hard, but others just plain facts.

One thing that people often say is " it's the best cancer to have".  
 Well, I have never said that and I never will.   When prostate  cancer hits your loved one,  it is cancer.  It is hard. 
There are decisions to make. Friends and family have advice for you and stories to share.  You get emails from people who know a cure. And even when you have talked to several doctors and your plan is in place, there is still someone who continues to "share"

Lesson:  do not minimize any cancer. It is no respecter of persons. Age, gender, nationality...
It can strike anyone.  
Lesson:  There are ways to show your concern. Rides, a listening ear, prayer


The first day in the green room there were at least 10 people.  I brought a book but when I saw the puzzle table, I sat down and got busy.
It took me a few days, and Leo helping with the puzzle, to feel comfortable chatting with anyone.

Then it was time for Emma to ring the gong.  She was ready.  But I was not ready for the emotion.
My emotion.  When the journey is ended, it is emotional, it is a big moment. I had a little gift for her.  She hugged me and our eyes were swimming.  

Through the next couple weeks, two ladies joined the 8:00 hour .
Since I am feeling more comfortable in the green room, I introduce myself.
Tina has had Chemo and lost all her pretty red hair. But she is smiling and likes my shoes and ruffled skirt. We talk fashion. 
Jessica has had Chemo but still has her cute red hair.  She is smiling and is helping me with the puzzle.
Their treatments were much shorter than hubby's and their day came to ring the gong. 
This time I was prepared for the emotion. I had a little gift for each of them. It was a strange feeling to say goodbye, but so glad they were done with this chapter in their life. Eyes swimming.
Those girls gave the gong a good hit. It was a very exciting moment. In fact, one of them was so excited she walked out of the department in her blue dressing gown.  ( She didn't get far )

Lesson along the way: It is a good thing to be friendly. Get beyond that shy, protective  wall and step into that new situation with a smile. 

The 8:00 hour has two new ladies and a gentleman
One lady comes in a wheel chair and has been through Chemo and is struggling with side effects. 
The other lady caught her cancer early and no Chemo.
The gentleman is friendly and chats with hubby.

Their day for the gong is next week.

But our day is today.
And I was ready. A little treat for the three 8:00 "friends" who have a few more days in their journey.
Muffins for everyone.  

Sweetest surprise, daughter and her little man came in time for the big event 

They brought balloons and treats 

did not get permission from everyone to post...no names   

Our journey is over.  We have learned some things
You do not know what a day will bring forth  ( Proverbs 27:1)
All the things you hear are true...we just forget, we are in such a hurry..
BUT,  spend time with those you love..tell them you love them... do not waste time on meeting the expectations of others.... love more..... pray more....listen... sing and dance ! 




The rest of the story.
1.  Gentleman with wife and two grandchildren, no energy
2.  Lady formerly from Cherry Crest. Alone 
3.  Emma and Leo
4.  Gentleman with throat cancer, never alone
5.  Stocky man, comes back for coffee sometimes..Alone 
6.  Sometime early, sometimes late, always alone 
7.  Laura, on her phone, always Alone
8.  Tina, chats about fashion, Alone, except final day
9.  Jessica,only 26 years old, very happy,  works on puzzle with        me,   always Alone 
10. Red Jogging suit, never sits down, always Alone 
11. Claudia, always cheerful, always Alone 
12. Leona and Tom, in a wheel chair. struggling with side effects
13. Jasper always early, always cheerful, always Alone 
14. Hubby...always cheerful, always early,  never alone.

So, out of 14 patients, 9 are always alone. 
And several patients were alone because they were able to keep working. Just two patients expressed extreme tiredness and that is one of the most common side effects.
Thankful, my hubby came through strong !  

the women patients, chat easily with me about life and some personal things

the men patients talk about cars and work to the group.until the final days when hubby and one man were the only ones in the room
( I was there working on the puzzle).  They talked about what was going on in their treatment and the typical side effects that occur. At one point our new friend says " I can't believe I am having this conversation".  But it was good.  Really good.  



We are at  the end of our journey.  A follow up in a month.   
We have much to be thankful for and hope we remember lessons and keep learning




Blessings abound !

marking and marking

This is a quiet week  - next to the last.

puzzles....finished one.   started one....finished...started another  

No one rang the gong

only 3 sometimes 4 of us in this 8:00 hour.


Next week there will be more...quite a bit more.

marking something special

Life is special

             Each day is another gift

                 This week, two ladies had their final treatment

                              And they rang the gong !

Read the statement first 

Give it a good bang ! 

She reads it too

A very good bang !

And all of us clapped and got a little emotional
This is a big day
The final day of radiation
Both girls have been through Chemo
and one lost her hair
An easier session is over 

So, we hugged and teared up a little and said

"I never want to see you here again !"

( one gal was so excited to leave she walked out of the department in her blue gown ) 

For the rest of the week I am missing my little redheaded friend. No one is sitting beside me at the puzzle.    No one notices my sparkle leggings, my friend in her blue gown is not there.

We begin the next chapter with two new patients, soon to be friends.

And for now, we are marking the days...just 10 left.

Looking forward to the weekend and no alarm in the morning. 

marking final weeks

Yes, we have finished another week



Every week has the same daily schedule.  Always the same appointment times  for 5 or 6 others.
 If the treatment is over for one, then another comes along in his or her place.
 There is always a puzzle and this week we finished one and started another....Always do the frame first .

This week one day was different....... Tina slept in and came rushing in a few minutes late. The staff can handle that.                          

 Then a fire alarm went off.  And an announcement   CODE RED Purple unit.      We are in the green unit.    We were startled, but safe.   The staff handled that.


So we have three more weeks to go

             

marking more

The path is very familiar

The atmosphere serene 


marking .....



The first day for two ladies 

and  the last day for Laurie

And a little more than half way for us.

Marking weeks

Yes weeks...

Finished our fourth week

The familiar scenes

Add caption

Started a new puzzle 

Thankful for the  weekend....

marking milestones

We are just into week four

The puzzle is finished   

and Kay has finished her time here

Kay is going to spend two weeks in Italy
Celebrating
She also promised to come back...with cookies for all !

Marking days and weeks

The end of three weeks.

Getting to the hard part, slowly 

Final day with Leo
because
Emma gets to ring the chime 

We are 1/3 of our way to the final day.
Some have mixed feelings.  Emma needed to be encouraged to ring the chime.
Two others will have their final day on the same date and will be ready to ring with gusto.

For now, we are thankful for a long weekend.
and company  

Marking days

First day

Just less than a half hour, but had to get started on this frame.....
a few pieces were not in the right places...glad to put a few together...this is not an easy puzzle

Putting a few more pieces together today

On to week two....

Comfort comes in different ways 

daring to take a peek 

we have finished two weeks....aw, the weekend